Arado Ar 196
Welcome to Meta! edit
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A public confession edit
Now is something like three months after the unfortunate incident that put my career as editor to the untimely end. It was predictable, in a hindsight it was bound to happen from the time of my registration here. Beyond doubt, the time I joined Wikipedia's Discord server was the beginning of the end. My unconventional beliefs and my unyielding militant nature were just bound to cause a trouble with catastrophic results.
Now, I think, or even believe, that to free myself from bounds of my past I need to confess to my sin. I don't expect anyone to read this far, but here goes
The first sin was when, after the initial off-wiki incident, I decided to strike back and not let it slide so easily. Using unlink feature to such end is obvious vandalism, my first and the last on Wikipedia. I feel guilty for that.
Afterwards came months of studying, and I hardly thought about this all. In November, I considered to apply for editing rights on the Sciencemadness Wiki, using my editing experience to prove I would be useful. But that required also explaining my downfall, I thought. So I went back to review it and that was a mistake.
The second sin was not so plain. When revisiting whole that matter, and feeling bored, I let loose some worse parts of myself. My ire turned to the one known as ferret, my blocking admin. I don't know any good mustelid jokes. Accounts with insults in name on en:ferret mission are mine, not of some LTA. When I saw that the first one is misattributed to some LTA fucker, and that it was done before me with much worse insults, I felt like I'm biggest asshole. Maybe I really am, but that's not important. What's important is that intent was to tease and I didn't know the real meaning of the phrase used. Don't excuse me a bit though
Then were a false flag "threat" to myself. And bullshit attempt to lift the resulting autoblock, aimed more to spread fanciful lies than to achieve anything. A bizarre childish bullshit. What a shame.
I felt guilt and shame for this all. But now when I wrote it down, I feel much better. Even if nobody will read it. It's here, the testament of my foul misdeeds, and my foolishness and wickedness are exposed for everyone to see. It's only the smallest step forward. I'm still a horrible person with empty future. My place is in a dismal swamp, not in any kind of society. But now I can at least calm down and leave that past behind me.
Who cares, disregard this, I suck ass. Hail Lilith. Arado Ar 196 (talk) 00:16, 26 November 2023 (UTC)