The Wikipatch is a patch (similar to a nicotine patch) designed specifically for wikipediholics, to help them get off the hook while on a period of abstinence.



Wikipatch is made of:

  • 32 kB plain text
  • 2 spoons of wikisyntax
  • 1 hint of partiality
  • 2 glasses of NPOV
  • 1 dose of trollism
  • 1 link to the GFDL and/or CC-BY-SA

There is also the Wikipatch Strong which adds to the previous list:

  • 145 e-mails with broken encoding
  • 12 IRC windows
  • 1 new Wikimedia project

Adding on to that there is also Wikipatch Lite which is only 1 byte which is made from

  • 1 B plain text
  • Other Wikiholics

Posology & precautions of use


The wikipatch is attached to the side of a common house brick. Apply the wikipatch on the forehead for 15 seconds per dose.

  • 1 to 2 times a month for anonymous users
  • 3 to 4 times a week for logged in users
  • 6 to 8 times a day for sysops
  • 9 times a day for bureaucrats
  • 10 to 15 times an hour for stewards
  • 2 to 4 times a minute for board members
  • 4 times a minute for Jimbo Wales

For use during more than 8 days, prefer the Wikipatch Strong.

Do not use for more than 15 days without referring to your phone company.

Good side-effects


Wikipatch lets you put the children to bed in the evenings, pack (or unpack) boxes to move, blog, reply to personal e-mails and, more importantly, cook nice meals to share with other wikipediholics. It is also known to have improved marital relationships, specially in wikipediholic couples (if any).